here,sitting in front of the computer,i wanna write down sth,but somehow my fingers are held back

i have myself being occupied for the past few days

hanging out,classmates gedering and the like

what's more,two of my best friends have come back home now,i was not alone anymore

the feeling is not bad,i successfully get to achieve my aims---forget sth unpleasant and enjoy life.

however,the fine feeling absolutely disappeared now.

beside me sits my best friend,who is playing games and gave me a big smile just now

she doesn't notice my unhappiness and my worries a bit.

i never mention these things to her bcz i am always an elder sister to her

or maybe my pretending is so perfact

 

it is time we went home,so make it an end

i wondered how far my bearence could go

then i found the answer

the war broke out, suddenly and fiercely

completely and absolutely,i lost

 

tears kept running down

one drop,twe drop...unable to stop

dear mum,so sorry for bringing the trouble to you

 

only when the sky is fallen down

will i forgive him

 

lonely and tired soul

longering in the world alone

faith collapses to the floor

aimless,meaningfulless and worthless

nobody is out there

reach out for nothing

 

what is the reason to live on?

no idea

 

 

listen to My Prayer

tears spill out on and on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

somewhat down,a bit disappointed,maybe i should say not a bit but not a little...

a boring new year and a boring life!~

still expecting sth,still waiting sb in the deep heart,but all of these worth nothing,nothing.what a fool i am!~

perhaps i am not supposed to say these at this time,especially at the very beginning of the new year,the first day in the year.

maybe what i have to say is a new year has a new start and a new hope as well.

ye,i know as you all know.however,i just am not able to say so at this moment in this place.

 

ok,now the time for sensitive should be over.

 

tell you sth interesting

 

one of my aunts becomes to like me well,which surprises me a lot.her attitude to me completely changed,she even said i was a sweet and gentle girl.haha,not bad to hear thatshe also said i couldnot get a BF now for i had not gratitude form college.pay all attention to my study and work hard in my professional is all i should do,i know!though my parents never say that i should not find a bf when i am still at school,but i know my duty.what's more,i know myself.i don't have the ability to do well in both study and a romantic relationship.

 

sth about new year eve

my brothers went to visited his friends with me,i had a good time in deed.we are formiliar to each other,so it was pretty comfortable to be with them,bcz i can be myself.

 

sth about complaintments

being at home,i have to do housework.i gotta cook,do washing and so on.so tired!i understand i am old enough to do these for my parents,but you know housework is always tiresome

 

anyway,i should learn to be more stronger to fight against all odds.

TEMP 4 is near and i must get ready for it---the first important thing in college life...

 

 

 

因为自尊
我错过了谁?
因为骄傲
我又辜负了谁?

生活如此复杂
我该如何走下去?
你如此多变
我又该如何面对?

悲伤  悔恨
凌驾于理智之上
可却于事无补

同情  愧疚  感动
这并不是爱

不想骗自己
也不想骗你  更不想伤害你

所以,只能选择逃避

但  事与愿违
还是伤害了你
因为冷漠  因为无言

只希望
有一天  你会明白

只希望

你可以快点走出来

时钟  滴答滴答

一声落下  一声又起

时针  一圈一圈

转了又转  乐此不疲

 

四季  春夏秋冬

由春至东  从不错乱

生活  喜怒哀乐

互相搀杂  变得太快

 

希望  隐隐约约

失望  接踵而来

反反复复   恶性循环

 

猜来猜去  真心在哪

 

白天  舍不得黑夜

于是 

日复一日  年复一年

不断循环  幸福并痛苦着

 

 

 

今天已经是去帮工回来的第三天了,本来痛得快断的手现在也没事了,那种累得不行的感觉也记得不清晰了.

依稀留在脑海里的有感动,也有愤慨.

可能是因为我看起来比较小的样子,组员以及那里的大哥哥大姐姐(或许我的实际年龄并不比他们小)都特别照顾我.那些菜都很重,几乎超出了我所能承受的范围,而且一次还要端两盘,哎.第一次端的时候,真的感觉手要骨折了.传菜有一段很长的距离,我一般都会歇至少一次以上.那些很热心的服务员会在半路的时候帮我把菜接过去,心里真的真的很感动...

让我气愤的是那里的工作量很大,而工资又低得可怜.特别是第二天晚上的时候,我们每个人至少要负责传4桌的菜,娜还被指定要传5桌.我们帮忙的都事婚宴,每一桌都有很多道菜,这根本就是在压榨我们的劳动力嘛.一个晚上下来,感觉整个人都快虚脱了...

以前总是抱怨做家教很辛苦,现在才知道原来家教是那么轻松的事.

心里很清楚,要想有一份轻松的工作,那么就一定要掌握丰富的知识.可是,回来的这几天我又干了些什么呢?

无力感,快把我逼疯了.找不回高中的那种毅力,那股拼劲.

Looking for a guiding star...